Vera Lawlor
(née Lawson)

Vera Lawlor née Lawson, The Harp, Rathvilly, Co. Carlow – 24th January 2023 very peacefully in the loving care of all at SignaCare Killerig; predeceased by her loving husband Christopher, brothers Matthew, Ignatius and Dick and sisters Birdie, Josephine and Claire. Sadly missed by her loving children Mary, Pat and Arthur, daughter-in-law Meghan, sons-in-law Ed and Stefan, her adored grandchildren Sarah, Sean, Ed Jnr., Jane, Emily and Peter, nephews, nieces, cousins, relatives and many friends.

May Vera Rest In Peace.

Reposing in The Harp, Rathvilly on Friday afternoon, 27th January, from 4.30pm. concluding at 8.30pm. Removal from Halligan’s Funeral Home, Station Road, Rathvilly (Eircode R93 C560) on Saturday morning at 11.30am. to St. Patrick’s Church, Rathvilly arriving for 12 noon Requiem Mass after which she will be laid to rest with Christopher in Rathvilly Cemetery.

 

 

An Ode to Vera: 
Mother 
By Mary Lawlor

I see your face in the rising sun 

In the stars at night 

when the day is done 

Circled by your voice on the morning breeze 

Where the waters run, I sense your ease, 

Your presence on well worn paths in familiar places 

I feel your pulse in your favourite songs 

Listening to your Truth in the whir of the birds 

Your wit in familiar sayings 

Your beauty in the scented flowers of spring 

You may be far away, but you are ever near 

I feel your love more and more 

I sense your pain in the dark wings of night 

Your breath is free now from its restless tide 

Now you can truly soar high and dance. 

Mother, Mother, Mother

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eulogy for Vera (Patricia Lawlor)

This week a light has gone out in Rathvilly and we are gathered here today to say “goodbye” to Vera, our mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, aunty, cousin, friend and proud citizen of Rathvilly.

Mammy’s life has three key pillars: her family- her pub- and Rathvilly and its people.

Vera was born here in the village in 1928, the youngest of seven siblings. Her mother, Mary Kate Lawson (née Finnegan) called her “the goat” because she was so wiry and hardy. This pet name was very apt and Vera proved herself as a hardy survivor – World War 2, times of economic depression, family deaths, early widowhood, the celtic tiger and the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic – she outlasted it all. On the death of her mother, she took over the family business and some years later married our dear departed father, Christopher Lawlor, who had to move to Rathvilly because Mammy wouldn’t budge from her beloved village.

 

Mammy was a great family person. She gave us unconditional love and was always there for us. She kept us tightly knit and she always wanted us close, and we had to stay in touch with her no matter where we were. Her love extended beyond the three of us to encompass all her nieces and nephews and cousins. She loved the Cassells, the O’Gormans, the Jenkins, the O’Connors, the Lawsons, the Lawlors, the Balfes, the Finnegans and the Jones. On her free day from the pub every week, a Wednesday, she came to Dublin to visit her brothers and relatives and to meet me outside Trinity. She loved to have a hot lunch in Bewleys on those red velvet seats and even when I became a transient vegetarian – she didn’t give up on me or our lunches – no - she came with me to a miserable spot on Crowe Street to eat brown rice and green lentils just because she wanted to spend time and touch base with me. She predicted “you will see your humour out” and she was right – six months later we were back in Bewleys!

 

Vera was firmly rooted in Rathvilly – despite lovely invitations from Mary, she found it hard to stay in Kerry for longer than a day. A trip to Zürich lasted a max of three days including air travel which she dreaded. When Arthur brought her on a cruise and showed her the splendour of Rome, she thought it was lovely “but couldn’t hold a candle to Rathvilly”.

 

Vera loved her pub and was a great publican with a strong work ethic. Always busy, always happy meeting people from all walks of life, from near and far. She was a great conversationalist and interested in everyone.  Her hospitality was legendary. Her only flaw as a publican was not being able to pull “a perfect pint” which, as publicans know, involves a slow process of pouring and resting. Vera’s pints tended to be frothy which led to her affectionately being called “Mrs. Bubbles”. She was captured for eternity, post lockdown, photographed by the Nationalist at the age of 92 pulling a peri-pandemic pint  - bubbles and all.

Vera listened to many stories, happy and sad, - she was a counsellor and psychologist, and the rumour goes that she even heard confessions at the hatch to the famers’ lounge. That may be myth, but fact is she was a great listener and had empathy.

 

She was a great role model to us all. She always told us – “you can do anything you want to do – the world is your oyster”. In fact, looking back you could say she was a feminist before it was fashionable. Indeed, in the 70’s the core village of Rathvilly was a feminist stronghold – Vera Lawlor and Eithne Molloy had the pubs, Betty Harper was the GP, Una Brennan and Margaret Osborne had the grocery stores and Margaret Carrol the Post Office. Only the church and garage were under male control.

 

Vera had many wonderful qualities – she was a kind person, charitable, a storyteller with a ready wit, a dream dancer, a mean poker player, a great cook (who relied on the bar as a source of key ingredients for her Guinness beef, porter cake, Bailey’s cheesecake and a very potent sherry trifle). She was an animal lover and was especially fond of her red-haired cat, OL. She was stylish and glamorous and often emulated. Chrissie, her hairdresser of many years, very often had requests for “Vera Lawlor’s cut and colour”.

One of my earliest memories is sitting on the bench back seat of the old Vauxhall Victor with Mary and Arthur (without seat belts!) and my mother driving us down the hill in her camel haired coat, her lipstick on and a Carrolls number 1 elegantly poised but unlit while she happily sang one of her favourite songs. I was in awe of this wonderful capable creature who was my mother.

Vera had a long and healthy life but her final couple of years were darkened by dementia. An African proverb says that - it needs a village to raise a child – but it also needs a village to cushion and care for a frail elderly person with dementia. The people of Rathvilly gave my mother so much love, care and support during this difficult time.

Arthur was on the front – every year, every day, always caring for our mother and her needs. His wife Meghan gave Vera, her mother-in-law, constant support and loving care and Vera loved the daily visits from Emily and  Peter. Vera loved the time with Ed, Jane, Sarah and Sean. Thanks also to Vera’s sons-in-law, Ed and Stefan. Vera especially loved to lunch with them

Mammy had wonderful carers, and this allowed her to live at home up to her 92 ^nd year. Thank you to all the carers especially Rachel and Paula. Vera was blessed with so many good friends including Malachy, Maureen, Breda and Ann and great neighbours the Murphys, the Morgans and Ivor. Thank you to Monsignor McEvoy for spiritual support. Thank you to Rathvilly Medical Services including the nurses and GPS of the Gallagher practice. A special thanks to the Dream Team at Rathvilly Pharmacy (Josie, Justine, Aine, Bernie, Nicole, Geoff, Diane, Avril, Alex and all) who looked after my mother and her medication up to the end of her life. A big “thank you” to entire village of Rathvilly – everyone was so kind watching out for Vera, helping her cross the road, chatting to her, remembering old times.

For the last year of her life Mammy had the privilege of being in Killerig Nursing Home. We are indebted to the wonderful staff there for their professionalism, and the kindness, patience and constant care that they bestowed on our mother. Also a special mention to Mam’s best friend in Killerig “Peg McGrath”. They had many happy moments together.

 

And now today the circle is closing. Vera is back in Rathvilly – back to the roots and she is here to stay. A light may have been extinguished but her light and love will shine on in our hearts forever. She will reunite with her husband Christopher, her family and all her friends – it will be a great Rathvilly reunion! And finally dear Friends, as Mammy would say when closing the bar at night – “It’s time now please folks-time to finish up – sin a bhuil”

 

 

 

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