<p><strong>Advice from Irish Hospice Foundation</strong></p><p>Irish Hospice Foundation offers compassionate guidance and practical support to anyone who is bereaved, as well as to those who are supporting someone through loss. Below is an overview of some of the helpful information available on their bereavement hub at <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-bereaved/"><strong>www.bereaved.ie</strong></a>.</p><h3>Understanding the Grieving Process</h3><p>The death of someone close can feel shocking, even when it was expected. Nothing truly prepares you for the impact it has on your life. Whether the death was sudden or followed a long illness, each loss brings its own kind of pain — and no two experiences can be compared. The worst loss is the one you are living through.</p><p>How you grieve depends on many things: your personality, your relationship with the person who died, and the support you have around you. Every loss is different, and every grief journey is unique.</p><p>You may experience shock, disbelief, confusion, sadness or loneliness. Irritability and anger are common. You may feel guilt or regret about things done or left undone. You might even feel relief that the person’s suffering has ended.</p><p>Grief can affect your body as well as your emotions. Concentration may be difficult. Sleep can be disrupted or filled with vivid dreams. Appetite may change. Exhaustion is common as your body and mind try to cope with profound change.</p><p>Some days you may feel overwhelmed; other days you may be focused on the practicalities of daily life. This ebb and flow is normal. Grief doesn’t follow a straight line or a set of stages. Certain times of year may feel harder, and memories can trigger waves of grief even years later.</p><h3>Grieving Is About <a href="https://ripremembers.rip.ie/campaign/rip-ie-remembers">Remembering</a>, Not Forgetting</h3><p>Over time, grief usually becomes less intense. As you adjust, you may worry that you are forgetting the person. Moving forward does not mean loving them less. They remain an important part of your life.</p><p>Many people find comfort in small acts of remembrance — lighting a candle, looking at photos, sharing stories, or simply speaking their name.</p><h3>Some Helpful Tips</h3><ul><li>Recognise the extent of your loss.</li><li>Try to rest, eat well and keep some structure in your day.</li><li>Be patient and gentle with yourself.</li><li>Accept emotional and practical support from caring friends and family.</li><li>Allow yourself to grieve in the way that feels right for you.</li><li>Be aware that a new loss can stir up past grief.</li><li>Seek reliable information about grief and loss at <strong>www.bereaved.ie</strong>.</li><li>Be open to change and growth as time passes.</li></ul><h3>Free Bereavement Support Line</h3><p>Irish Hospice Foundation’s <strong>free Bereavement Support Line</strong> 📞 <strong>1800 80 70 77</strong> 🕙 <strong>10am–1pm, Monday to Friday</strong> Co‑funded by the HSE</p><p>This confidential service offers a safe space to talk with a trained volunteer who understands grief. They can also guide you towards local supports such as bereavement groups or counselling options (free, low‑cost or private).</p><h3>Free Resources</h3><p>For books, podcasts, leaflets and more, visit <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-bereaved/"><strong>www.bereaved.ie</strong></a>. A helpful video on understanding grief is available at: https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-bereaved/coping-with-loss/understanding-grief-and-loss/</p><h3>A Word from Catherine Tierney</h3><p><strong>Bereavement Clinical Manager, Bereavement Support Line</strong></p><blockquote><p>“It’s great to know that support is there for anyone who is bereaved AND for those wondering how best to support them. Our lovely service (Bereavement Support Line 1800 807077) is here to listen and guide and support. We also signpost to services (e.g. if someone wants to find out about counselling options in their area). Our volunteers are professionally trained in grief and loss, and they really understand. Please do call us: 1800 807077, 10am–1pm (Monday–Friday).”</p></blockquote>

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Grief Support in Ireland: Practical Tips and Free Resources

<p>Weddings are joyful celebrations, but they can also stir bittersweet emotions when someone special is missing. In Ireland, family ties run deep, and many couples want to find meaningful ways to keep loved ones close, even if they can’t be there in person.</p><p>Here are five heartfelt ideas to honour their memory on your wedding day:</p><h3>1. Light a Candle in Their Honour</h3><p>A simple yet powerful gesture. Place a remembrance candle on the altar or near your ceremony space with a small sign: <i>“In loving memory of those who are with us in spirit.”</i><br /><i>(Explore our new range of </i><a href="https://shop.rip.ie/ecc/products.php?cat=8"><i>remembrance candles here</i></a><i>.)</i></p><h3>2. Include Their Names in Your Ceremony</h3><p>Ask your celebrant or priest to mention your loved ones during the prayers or vows. For non-religious ceremonies, a short reading or poem in their memory can feel deeply personal.</p><h3>3. Wear or Carry Something Meaningful</h3><p>A piece of jewellery, a photo locket, or even a fabric swatch from their clothing sewn into your dress or suit lining. These small touches keep them close to your heart.</p><h3>4. Reserve a Seat</h3><p>Place a framed photo or a flower on a chair at the ceremony to symbolise their presence. It’s a quiet, visual way to acknowledge their importance.</p><h3>5. Play Their Favourite Song</h3><p>Include a song they loved in your wedding playlist—during the reception or even as part of the ceremony music. Music has a way of bringing memories to life.</p><h3>Why These Gestures Matter</h3><p>Honouring loved ones isn’t about sadness; it’s about weaving their memory into your celebration. These small acts create a sense of connection and remind everyone that love endures.</p><h3>Related Reading:<br /><a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/lighting-a-candle-for-the-departed-irish-customs-explained-316">Lighting a Candle for the Departed – Irish Customs Explained</a></h3>

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Honouring Loved Ones on Your Wedding Day: 5 Heartfelt Ways to Include Their Memory

<p><i>Advice from Irish Hospice Foundation – </i><a href="www.bereaved.ie"><i>www.bereaved.ie</i></a></p><p>As Christmas approaches, Irish Hospice Foundation is reminding people to take care of themselves and those around them who may have been recently bereaved, or who continue to feel the absence of loved ones at this time of year. Simple gestures like checking in, offering practical help, or gently acknowledging their loss can make a meaningful difference.</p><h3>Bereavement Support Line</h3><p>Irish Hospice Foundation’s <strong>Bereavement Support Line (1800 80 70 77) </strong>offers a confidential space to talk to a grief-trained volunteer.</p><ul><li>Open: 10am to 1pm, Monday to Friday</li><li>Available up to and including Christmas Eve</li><li>Reopens Monday to Friday (except New Year’s Day)</li></ul><h3>Practical Ways to Navigate Grief During the Festive Period</h3><p><strong>1. Plan Ahead</strong><br />Acknowledge that Christmas will now be different. While you may choose to keep some traditions, others may need to change or be dropped altogether. Ask yourself which traditions are important to you and what you can reasonably cope with this year.</p><p><strong>2. Keep Things Simple</strong><br />Think about what is meaningful and realistic for you and discuss this with other family members. You might decide against an elaborate dinner or putting up decorations, for example.</p><p><strong>3. Begin New Traditions</strong><br />Some people start new traditions, such as visiting the grave on Christmas Eve, lighting a candle, or remembering the person in a toast.</p><p><strong>4. Talk About Your Loved One</strong><br />Let the people around you know if you are comfortable talking about the person who died. If you don’t mention their name, others may assume you don’t want them to mention it either.</p><p><strong>5. Accept Offers of Help</strong><br />Both practical and emotional help can make a difference. Those who love you want to support you, but you might need to let them know what you need (e.g., walking the dog, minding the kids, or putting the bins out).</p><p><strong>6. Plan Quiet Time for Yourself</strong><br />Grieving is tiring and energy-sapping. When you can, lie down or take a short walk. If you accept invitations, give yourself the option of changing your mind or leaving early if you need to.</p><p><strong>7. Include Children in Planning</strong><br />Ask children for their ideas on how to spend the day. Young children may need reassurance that Santa is still coming and to know that it’s okay to enjoy Christmas even if people are sad.</p><h3>A Message from Irish Hospice Foundation</h3><p><span style="font-size:11pt">Catherine Tierney, Bereavement Clinical Manager of the Bereavement Support Line, says</span>:</p><blockquote><p>“<span style="color:inherit;font-family:inherit;font-size:11pt">It’s great to know that support is there for anyone who is bereaved AND for those wondering how best to support them.  Our lovely service (<strong>Bereavement Support Line 1800 807077</strong>) is here to listen and to guide and support.  We also signpost to services (e.g. if someone wanted to find out about counselling options in their area).  Some callers really struggle as they approach their first Christmas without a loved one; some find the second Christmas even harder &amp; lonelier as others move on with their lives.  Our volunteers are professionally trained in grief and loss, and they really understand.  Please do call us.  <strong>10am-1pm (Monday-Friday)</strong>." ** Closed Christmas Day, Stephen’s Day &amp; New Year’s Day.</span></p></blockquote><h3>Find More Resources</h3><p>Irish Hospice Foundation also produce a free <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Grief-at-Christmas.pdf">Grief at Christmas</a> leaflet which can be ordered on 01 679 3188 or email <a href="mailto:info@hospicefoundation.ie">info@hospicefoundation.ie</a>.</p><p>For more information and resources on coping with grief, including guidance for families and children, visit <a href="www.bereaved.ie">www.bereaved.ie</a>.</p>

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Coping with Grief This Christmas

<h3>A Tragedy That Sparked a Movement</h3><p>Embrace FARM was founded by Brian and Norma Rohan after Brian’s father, Liam, died tragically in a farm accident. While the organisation has since expanded to support families affected by serious injury or sudden death—including medical events, suicide, or off-farm accidents—supporting those impacted by farm accidents remains a core part of Embrace FARM’s mission to the agri-community.</p><h3>The Suddenness of Farm Accidents</h3><p>Everything can change in the blink of an eye, and farm accidents are a stark example of that. These tragedies occur too often across Ireland’s agricultural community, with many families relying on their local networks for support in the aftermath.</p><p>At Embrace FARM, we ask you to meet these families with empathy and understanding. This type of loss is unimaginable to those who haven’t experienced it firsthand.</p><h3>Living With Grief on the Farm</h3><p>After a farm accident, grief doesn’t fade, it grows around the loss. Many families continue to live and work on the same land where the tragedy occurred, surrounded by the machinery or livestock that may have been involved. Life is expected to go on, even as daily reminders of the loss remain.</p><p>Among the many families Embrace FARM has supported, one sentiment echoes across them all: </p><blockquote><p><i>“It feels like it happened yesterday,</i> </p></blockquote><p>No matter how much time has passed.</p><h3>Support for Families Directly Affected</h3><p>For families directly impacted by a farm accident, Embrace FARM offers both emotional and practical support. We’re here for you and your loved ones; ready to walk this journey with you, however and whenever you need us.</p><p>Treat yourself with kindness and patience. Grief is deeply personal and can look different for each person, even within the same family.</p><h3>How Communities Can Help</h3><p>If you’re a friend, neighbour, or part of the wider community supporting a bereaved farm family, it can be hard to know what to do. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference—cooking meals for the freezer, dropping off groceries, helping around the yard, or simply checking in for a chat.</p><p>Be mindful of the person’s energy and boundaries. Grief is different for everyone, so it’s important to ask what they need and respect their space.</p><h3>Reach Out for Support</h3><p>Embrace FARM provides practical and emotional support to anyone in a farm family affected by serious injury or sudden death—including farm accidents, medical events, suicide, or off-farm incidents like car accidents.</p><p>If you or someone you know could use support, please contact us: </p><p><strong>Call</strong>: 057-8510555</p><p><strong>Email:</strong> <a href="mailto:info@embracefarm.com">info@embracefarm.com</a></p><p><strong>Visit</strong>: <a href="https://embracefarm.com/">www.embracefarm.com</a></p><p> </p>

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Life After Loss: Coping with Grief Following a Farm Accident

<p><i>By Aidan McKiernan, Principal Specialist Clinical Psychologist, LauraLynn, Ireland’s Children’s Hospice.</i></p><p>If you are an extended family member, friend, or part of the community, it is normal to feel a mix of sadness, helplessness, and even fear when a child dies (fear because a child dying can make us feel like the world is an unsafe place). A child dying may also trigger your own experience of loss. Approaching these moments with self-compassion and self-awareness can help you to be more present and helpful.</p><p>Grief following the death of a child is unlike other losses: it is untimely and unjust. Your role is not to fix the grief, but to walk alongside it—respecting that the family’s needs will change over time. Follow their lead. If they wish to talk about their child, listen kindly and patiently. If they do not, respect their boundaries without judgment. Their right to speak or remain silent must always be honoured.</p><p>One of the most valuable things you can do is simply let them know that you are thinking of them, and perhaps that you are available if they wish to talk or need support. A short message—“I’m thinking of you”—can be far more meaningful (and helpful) than searching for the “right” words. </p><p>Avoid statements that reframe the death as something positive or that suggest you understand their experience (even if you have also lost a child) and be cautious with religious framing unless you are certain it aligns with the family’s beliefs.</p><p>Practical gestures are often more helpful than talking. Certainly, in the early weeks and months, dropping off meals, refreshments, or groceries will ease some immediate burdens. Offering help with certain household chores, caring for pets, or providing transport for siblings shows tangible care without requiring the family to host or entertain you.</p><p>Be mindful not to create situations where the family feels they must comfort you because you are deeply upset. Your grief for the child may be significant, but this is a time to prioritise their emotional space. Seek your own support elsewhere so you can remain steady and compassionate.</p><p>Over time, remembrance can be meaningful. Marking anniversaries—such as the child’s birthday or the date of their death—with a short message like, “You and [child’s name] are in my thoughts today,” affirms that they are remembered without placing demands on the family.</p><p>Supporting a grieving family is not about perfect words but about consistent, compassionate presence. Follow their lead, respect boundaries, avoid platitudes, and show care through words and actions. Your patient reliability will be a great comfort as they navigate a loss that will forever shape their lives.</p>

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Supporting a Family After the Loss of a Child

<h3>The Day Everything Changed</h3><p>I was eight years of age when I found out that my little brother Declan had a malignant brain tumour. He was six. He died six months later at the tender age of seven. The day my parents received the diagnosis was the day that would echo throughout every essence of each of our beings. They tried all of the challenging and demanding treatments, and they would do it again in the morning if they knew it would save him. It didn’t work.</p><h3>A Family in Crisis</h3><p>We spent six months in and out of hospitals, hearing hushed conversations, feeling left out as he received all the attention (remember this is a child's perspective), and feeling confused. We were a family of six children, ranging in age from three to twelve.</p><p>The youngest sibling, in her early development and attuned to her parents’ energy, felt the drops in their stomach after each consultation. The oldest sibling, on the cusp of her teenage years, craved independence but was held back by fear. The worst had actually happened, and it might happen again.</p><p>Jacinta, Fintan, and I were in the middle, followed by the birth of our brother Sheridan the year after Declan died.</p><h3>Why I Became a Therapist</h3><p>I decided to become a therapist because I was desperately searching to understand what happened to my family. It changed in front of my eyes, and neither my younger self nor my adult self understood why.</p><p>As I leaned into my therapy work, as terrifying as it was, I learned that this change is what can happen in families. I thought it was just us. Discovering this offered me a sense of peace. I now knew that when a child dies in the family, life as it once was has been uprooted, altered, and disturbed. There is now a new sway to the family dynamic, and it can bring direction or disruption. For us, it was both.</p><h3>How Children Grieve Differently</h3><p>When a child dies in the family and the remaining children are still young, this fragments or cements their internal language and perceptions even further. This will have an impact on how the remaining sibling grieves.</p><p>It used to confuse me how all my siblings reacted so differently to losing Declan. We grew up in the same house, had the same parents, ate the same dinners, had the same holidays, and even wore the same clothes. We had loving parents who treated us equally. How did we all behave and view our lives so very differently?</p><h3>My Quiet Grief</h3><p>My grief for Declan was quiet, hidden. I unconsciously decided to stay small and not cause any further distress. This meant I was always seen as the good child — independent and able to look after myself. In turn, I wasn’t always offered help, and I certainly didn’t learn how to ask for it. Even into my adult life, I struggled with this.</p><p>I now know it’s my responsibility to sit with this shadow side and learn that it’s okay to be vulnerable. This is a part of me that still needs compassion and healing.</p><h3>Louder Grief and Coping Mechanisms</h3><p>For two of my siblings, their grief was louder. It poured into the sitting room with early use of alcohol, self-destruction, and harmful behaviours. Yes, part of this is associated with the early teenage years, striving for independence and yearning for belonging, but it was exacerbated by the sense of loss within the household.</p><p>Another sibling’s beautiful and kind exterior masked the fear of love. She knew the realities of what it was like to really love and care for someone and have them taken away so unexpectedly and unfairly. She was older, so she could comprehend the intricate delicacy of what an unnatural loss can bring. She fought hard to keep us balanced and, as the oldest and being a girl, believed it was her job to emotionally fix everyone.</p><p>It is now her responsibility to care for herself as well as she has cared for all of us.</p><h3>Healing Takes Time</h3><p>This all takes time. It takes awareness of destructive patterns learned through crisis and fear of another loss. So it will take time to unlearn these coping skills. They have served us well thus far, but there comes a time when they are no longer healthy and are holding us back.</p><p>This is the work: awareness and compassion for our young selves. Remember that the brain is flexible and can create new neural pathways of love, safety, and calm. It will take time, trials, and errors — but it is possible to learn to regulate your nervous system again.</p><h3>A Beautiful Analogy</h3><p>I was once gifted the knowledge of how to explain the impact of sibling loss by the wise and humble Brid Carroll of the Irish Childhood Bereavement Network. She told me that siblings represent the fingers on our hand. Each finger has a different print, different lines, and different sizes. This represents the personality, core beliefs, and coping mechanisms of the individual sibling. Even though they come from the same body, they are all unique.</p><p>This is how siblings experience the loss of a brother or sister — uniquely.</p><h3>Support and Compassion</h3><p>There is no single approach when it comes to experiencing loss as a child, and each situation may require a tailored approach. Take time to read articles by the Irish Childhood Bereavement Network on what you can do to support grieving children. And remember to do so with compassion and kindness to your tender heart.</p><p>And also remember to contact <a href="https://www.jacintassmile.ie/">Jacinta’s Smile</a> services to see how we can support you.</p>

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Sibling Loss in Childhood: A Personal Reflection on Grief, Growth and Healing

<p><i>What is it like to lose a sibling? Well, it's like swimming without a float — you can do it, but it's not as sturdy or buoyant.</i></p><p>I only knew my life with Jacinta in it. She was 17 months old when I was born. Our lives grew together. I was 28 when she died. I never had to protect myself, she did that for me. She was allowed to call me names or push me around as siblings often do but, my God! If someone did that outside of our family, she would be the first one to ride over on her BMX bike and swiftly wheelie them out of my life.</p><h3>The Void She Left Behind</h3><p>When she died, I felt exposed to the world. Vulnerable to a part of me that never had to show up before, because she always did it for me. I didn't need the confidence to speak; she did it for me. I now had to find a voice, and I didn't know what that sounded like without her tone joining in with mine.</p><p>Losing a sibling brings a sense of unmasking. An unwanted unfolding of a barrage of questions:</p><ul><li>Who am I without her?</li><li>Where do I belong now?</li><li>Where is my place in the family?</li><li>What roles do I have to step into now that hers is vacant?</li><li>Where will I stand in our family photo?</li><li>Are they her friends or my friends?</li><li>Do they still want to be friends with me?</li><li>Where is my place? </li><li>Where do I belong if it's not beside her? </li><li>Where will I share all of our memories and stories?</li><li>Who can I laugh with about the mom joke she made up in our bedroom when we were six and supposed to be asleep?</li><li>What will I do with the song in my head that she used to ask me to sing to put her to sleep every night?</li></ul><h3>The Small Things Are the Big Things</h3><p>These questions may seem trivial, but that's the way a sibling relationship blooms. It's always the small things. Together, they are the big things, the shared memories. There is a bond there that cannot be filled.</p><p>From childhood to death at an old age, we imagine our lives together floating through love, rivalry, shared joy, shared pain, misunderstandings, disconnections, and reconnections.</p><p>This is how we believed it would be. There was safety in that. A sense of belonging, teamwork, partnership, and a bittersweet symphony of all of life's moments. The struggles and the strengths were felt and witnessed by each other. In place of this, there is now a loneliness that feels hollow and yet substantial.</p><h3>The Secondary Grief</h3><p>These moments were experienced by two connected members — members of a union. When this membership is broken, there is a sense of being outcast and different. It can cause a sensation of losing the person you once were. And in that, there is also a secondary grief.</p><p>And then, seeping into the field of bereavement, arrives the harsh truth: our parents are no longer the people they once were. Especially as an adult, it feels like our responsibility to help them through their deep pain and sorrow. They are broken too — they have lost part of their own birthed tribe.</p><p>As siblings, we feel the weight and acknowledge the full sense of helplessness. We have to witness this, knowing there is no fixing their broken soul. This can be excruciating.</p><h3>Ten Years On</h3><p>It has been almost ten years since Jacinta’s sudden death from a brain aneurysm. Even writing this seems like I am lying or making it up. The moments of reality hit deep. However, now, they are met with a sense of compassion for myself and my grieving heart.</p><p>How do I do this?</p><h3>Leaning Into Grief</h3><p>Acknowledging that the pain and emotion behind each interaction with loss is safe. It is safe for me to go there. It is safe to be in this. I had to lean into it. I learned that the thought of going to that deep place was actually worse than the moment of it.</p><p>I did this by breathing in and acknowledging.<br />Give yourself the time to be with your own grief.<br />Learn to accommodate it.<br />Notice all the feelings that surge through you. The confusion, the anger, the gutted stomach, the hopelessness, the love, the disconnection, the fear.</p><h3>All Feelings Are Welcome</h3><p>All of these feelings are welcome. They all have a place. One is not worse than the other — they simply are, and they are there to be felt.</p><p>That is when bravery comes in. That is your strength.<br />Notice your courage to feel all of the complications.<br />And breathe. Release. Let yourself go.<br />Remind your inner critic to be kind.<br />Slow down and let yourself feel into the emotions.</p><p>You deserve this space and time to reconnect with yourself.<br />Yes, you are different — but you are different with a strike of lightning now running through your veins.<br />Feel this light, this power, and this burst of energy. It is also yours.<br />It is okay to feel the light and the darkness at the same time. It is all welcome.</p><h3>A Note on Guilt</h3><p>As I write this, I am also highly aware that whilst I have lost three siblings, in this article I only speak to the loss of my sister Jacinta. And with this, I notice the guilt seeping in.</p><p>Does that mean I didn't love my brothers as much?<br />Does that mean their death did not impact me?<br />Why did I choose to write about Jacinta?</p><p>And... I notice these thoughts. I acknowledge them. And I let them go.<br />Life is complicated, and not everything has an answer. Just like grief.</p><p> </p>

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Losing a Sibling: A Lifetime of Grief, Love and Identity

<p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)"><i>Breffni Mc Guinness, Bereavement Coordinator, LauraLynn, Ireland’s Children’s Hospice.</i></span></p><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">If you are a parent who is reading this article and you have recently lost your child, my sincere sympathies to you and your family at this time.  This is an unimaginably difficult time for you and those close to you. </span></p><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">No one can know the pain of loss that you are experiencing, and each person has to find their own way through their grief.  However, there are parents who have travelled this road before you and who are living proof that you can, and will, come through this.  It will though, take time and it is really important to be kind and patient with yourself as best you can. </span></p><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">We know from grief theories that remembering is really important.  When we think of it – the word remember is made up of two parts “re” and “member”. Remembering your child is about making them a member again of your family in a new way.  They are no longer physically present, but they are still very much part of your family. By consciously making an effort to remember them, you will weave them into the fabric of your family life in a new way.  This will also be an important part of helping you cope with your grief.</span></p><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">What follows are some suggestions that, with time, may be of help to you on your unique journey of grief. Some may sit well with you, and others not, – please just choose whatever is helpful for you.</span></p><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">What are some of the ways and rituals that might be helpful in remembering your child?</span></p><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Pictures in a prominent place in the house</span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Some people find that having a particular picture of their child displayed in a prominent place in the house – provides a way for everyone to connect in an informal and easy way with the child who has died.</span></p><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Remembering birthdays and significant dates</span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Creating new traditions within your family to remember the birthday of your child who has died is a lovely way of keeping their memory part of the ongoing narrative of your family.  These can include:</span></p><ul style="list-style-type:disc"><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Lighting a candle at a mealtime on the day</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Going to a special place that was significant for you or your child e.g. the sea, or a favourite park</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Doing something together as a family on that day – e.g. going for a meal, a walk etc in memory of your child</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Visiting their grave </span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Listening to music that reminds you of your child or that they liked</span></li></ul><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">More regular rituals</span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Some people find comfort in rituals that they do regularly as ways of connecting with their child. This will be as individual as your child was, and as you are. These can include:</span></p><ul style="list-style-type:disc"><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Saying hello to your child when you wake up or start your day</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Visiting places that are significant for you and remind you of your child.</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">For those with religious beliefs – praying to their child can also be comforting.</span></li></ul><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Creating a more permanent reminder in your home or garden</span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">These can include:</span></p><ul style="list-style-type:disc"><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">A new tree or bush that is planted in their memory</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Creating a special seat in the house or the garden</span></li><li><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Creating a new feature in your home which is in memory of your child e.g. a pond.</span></li></ul><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">In all of these suggestions the key thing to keep an eye on is what works for you and your family.  Take your time in looking at what ways you might choose.  Talk to other members of your family about how they would like to remember your child. Allow that this will be bittersweet – remembering can be healing but it can also be painful.  Be conscious of where you and others are at in your grief journeys, and that what might work for you may not work for someone else.</span></p><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Final Thought</span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Coping with the death of your child is one of the hardest things that anyone may have to do.  Creating ways to remember your child can help you and others to begin healing. Starting new rituals to remember your child, whether on dates that are significant, or something that you do more regularly can help you to adjust and cope with your grief. This is a long journey and there will be ups and downs.  Though it may not seem like it now, you will come through this.  Finding ways to remember your child is an important part of finding your way.</span></p><h3><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">Here is a free resource from LauraLynn to support you or someone you care about: </span></h3><p><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">For parents and families: </span><a href="https://eur02.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lauralynn.ie%2Ffamily-bereavement-course&amp;data=05%7C02%7Csbutton%40lauralynn.ie%7C32d906f9562d4d74f94c08dde6e8e7a2%7C815437effc62426f8564fe532f812685%7C0%7C0%7C638920610192422802%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&amp;sdata=NGVJXGLHcIfmLldxqPwhlu980d07Ett5m4sZB2xW99g%3D&amp;reserved=0"><span style="color:hsl(0,0%,0%)">www.lauralynn.ie/family-bereavement-course</span></a></p>

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Honouring your Child’s Memory: Finding Ways to Remember

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Topic: Family Grief