<p><i><strong>For twenty years, RIP.ie has been a place where Irish people gather in moments of loss, solidarity, and</strong></i><a href="https://ripremembers.rip.ie/campaign/rip-ie-remembers"><i><strong> remembrance.</strong></i></a><i><strong> In marking this anniversary, we wanted to pause and listen, really listen, to what people across the country feel about funerals, grief, and the rituals that shape how we say goodbye.</strong></i></p><p>More than 3,300 people responded to our nationwide survey, sharing not just opinions but memories, frustrations, hopes, and deeply personal reflections. What emerged is a portrait of a country that is changing but still rooted in tradition, a people who value honesty, connection, and the right to honour their loved ones in their own words.</p><h3>A clear message on eulogies: let families speak</h3><p>One finding stood out above all others: <strong>92 percent of adults in Ireland believe every family should have the right to </strong><a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/how-to-write-a-eulogy-a-guide-to-creating-a-meaningful-tribute-290"><strong>deliver a eulogy </strong></a><strong>at a funeral mass</strong>. In Munster, that figure rose to 95 percent. For an issue that has caused tension in some dioceses, the public sentiment is unmistakable. Families want, and need, the chance to speak.</p><figure class="image"><img src="https://img-dedicated.rip.ie/image_620cc5de9602f3cc526ec7bc684dbc00e027ec1885a3c27b.png" /></figure><p>As one of the strongest majorities in the entire survey, this result reflects something deeper than preference. It speaks to the Irish instinct to honour our dead through story, humour, memory, and truth. And while respondents were clear that eulogies should be short, most favouring under ten minutes, the principle matters more than the timing. People want space to say goodbye in their own voice.</p><h3>Funerals as celebration, but tradition still holds its place</h3><p>Ireland’s relationship with funerals is evolving but not abandoning its roots. Eighty‑three percent believe a funeral should be a celebration of life. Yet almost one in five still prefer a more traditional, sombre approach, with a similar number saying black should always be worn. In Tipperary, those<a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/customs-and-traditions-of-an-irish-wake-283"> traditional instincts</a> are even stronger.</p><p>This duality is part of who we are. We laugh through tears. We honour the old ways while making room for the new. We gather for three days, a rhythm 84 percent of people say feels “about right”, and we show up for one another in numbers that would be unthinkable elsewhere. Kerry people, for example, attend the most funerals in the country, averaging more than six in the past year.</p><h3>Grief is becoming more open, but not for everyone</h3><p>One of the most striking tensions in the survey lies in how we <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/7-simple-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself-while-you-are-grieving-307">talk about grief</a>. Ninety‑one percent believe Ireland is becoming more open about death and loss. Yet when asked whether grief is still considered a private matter, the country split almost exactly down the middle: <strong>52 percent said yes and 48 percent said no</strong>.</p><p>This tells us something important. While many feel freer to speak about grief, others still carry it quietly. The shift is happening, but unevenly. And that is why spaces of compassion, community, and conversation matter more than ever.</p><h3>What we believe, and what we wonder</h3><p>Ireland’s spiritual landscape is changing but belief remains a powerful thread. <strong>Sixty‑five percent believe in Heaven, 52 percent in an afterlife for the soul, and 14 percent in reincarnation</strong>. Only 16 percent believe in Hell, the same number who believe in none of the listed afterlife options. And yes, 12 percent believe in ghosts.</p><p>These numbers do not just reflect theology. They reflect curiosity, comfort, and the enduring human need to make sense of loss.</p><h3>Music, memory, and the moments that stay with us</h3><p>When we asked people to share their most memorable funeral moments, the responses were extraordinary, tender, funny, surprising, and deeply Irish. <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/8-irish-songs-that-bring-comfort-after-loss-308">Music </a>featured again and again:</p><blockquote><p>My father was a fisherman, and the <i>Lonesome Boatman</i> was played graveside. It was so touching, a very special moment.</p></blockquote><blockquote><p><i>Highway to Hell</i> played as the coffin left the church. The parish priest played it for his close friend.”</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>The local school choir sang <i>Always Look on the Bright Side of Life</i>. The laughter and joy reverberated around the church.</p></blockquote><p>These stories remind us that funerals are not just rituals. They are acts of love. They are the final gift we give someone, shaped by who they were and how they lived.</p><h3>Parting Words, and the conversations Ireland is ready for</h3><p>As part of our twentieth anniversary, RIP.ie launched <a href="https://rip.ie/podcast/introducing-parting-words-a-new-ripie-podcast-on-love-loss-and-the-stories-that-stay-with-us-329"><i>Parting Words</i></a>, a new podcast hosted by Muireann O Connell. The conversations in Season One echo many of the themes uncovered in this survey. Guests speak openly about love, loss, and the lessons grief has carved into their lives. They talk about the moments that broke them and the moments that carried them, and they do so with the honesty and humour that feel unmistakably Irish.</p><figure class="media"><div data-oembed-url="https://youtu.be/qyeJsCh7cZE?si=gqXK0DmkPTs2eiTI"><div style="position:relative;padding-bottom:100%;height:0;padding-bottom:56.2493%"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qyeJsCh7cZE" style="position:absolute;width:100%;height:100%;top:0;left:0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></div></figure><p>In a country where people are becoming more willing to talk about death, but where many still feel grief is private, <i>Parting Words</i> offers something rare. It gives people permission to speak. It shows that grief is not a weakness and that remembering someone out loud can be a powerful act of healing. The podcast is already becoming a companion for those who are grieving and a gentle guide for those who want to understand grief better.</p><h3>Supporting people through grief</h3><p>The survey makes one thing clear. People want support, understanding, and connection when they are grieving. They want traditions that anchor them, and they want space to express their loss in ways that feel personal and true. At RIP.ie, we see this every day in the condolence messages left by neighbours, friends, and strangers who simply want to offer comfort.</p><p>Our role has always been to support families at one of the hardest moments of their lives. That support now extends beyond notices and condolences. It includes resources on grief, guidance on planning, and initiatives like<a href="https://ripremembers.rip.ie/campaign/rip-ie-remembers"> RIP.ie Remembers</a>, which invites people to walk in memory of someone they love. It includes the stories shared in <i>Parting Words</i>, and the community that forms quietly around each episode.</p><figure class="media"><div data-oembed-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQvLMkz0B1E"><div style="position:relative;padding-bottom:100%;height:0;padding-bottom:56.2493%"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yQvLMkz0B1E" style="position:absolute;width:100%;height:100%;top:0;left:0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></div></figure><p>Grief will always be deeply personal, but it does not have to be solitary. The more we talk about it, the more we understand it, and the more we can support one another through it.</p><h3>A country that shows up</h3><p>Perhaps the most powerful message from this survey is that funerals still matter deeply to Irish people. Wakes, months minds, graveside gatherings, 95 percent say these traditions remain important. In an age of fast communication and fragmented communities, the Irish funeral endures as one of the last places where neighbours, friends, and extended family still come together in person.</p><p>It is a testament to who we are: a people who show up, who stand together, who believe that every life deserves to be marked and remembered.</p><h3>Looking ahead</h3><p>As RIP.ie enters its third decade, these findings will help guide our work, from supporting families in grief to shaping national conversations about how we honour the dead. They also remind us that while customs may evolve, the heart of the Irish funeral remains unchanged: community, compassion, and the simple act of being there.</p><p>In listening to thousands of voices across the country, one truth became clear. How we say goodbye says everything about how we live. And in Ireland, we still choose to live, and grieve, together.</p><p> </p>

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What Ireland Really Thinks About Funerals, And What That Says About Us

<p>In Ireland, music is woven into the fabric of farewell. Whether it’s a church funeral, a non-religious ceremony, or a wake in the family home or funeral parlour, songs help us express what words cannot. They bring comfort, evoke memories, and create moments of connection during times of grief.</p><p>This guide will help you:</p><ul><li>Approach creating a playlist for an Irish farewell</li><li>Include Irish classics and contemporary tracks that resonate with remembrance</li></ul><h3>How to Approach Your Playlist</h3><ol><li><strong>Consider the setting</strong><br />Is it a church funeral, a civil ceremony, or a wake at home? Religious services often include hymns, while wakes allow for traditional ballads and personal favourites.</li><li><strong>Balance tradition and personality</strong><br />Include songs that reflect Irish heritage alongside tracks that were meaningful to your loved one.</li><li><strong>Think about the flow</strong><br />Start with gentle instrumentals or reflective songs, move into pieces that celebrate life, and close with something hopeful or uplifting.</li><li><strong>Keep it appropriate for the moment</strong><br />Wakes often feature live music or sing-alongs, while ceremonies may need recorded tracks played softly in the background.</li></ol><h3>Irish Songs to Include</h3><p>Here are six thoughtful choices—a mix of classics and modern tracks that feel fresh and deeply comforting:</p><p><strong>1. The Old Man – Phil Coulter</strong></p><p>A tender tribute to fathers and family bonds. Its lyrics evoke gratitude and memory, making it a poignant choice for a funeral or month’s mind.</p><p><strong>2. Ride On – Christy Moore</strong></p><p>A haunting ballad about parting and moving on, full of quiet strength and emotion.</p><p><strong>3. No Frontiers – Mary Black</strong></p><p>A modern classic about love without limits—ideal for expressing enduring connection beyond life.</p><p><strong>4. Black Is the Colour – Cara Dillon</strong></p><p>A traditional song reimagined with ethereal vocals, evoking beauty and melancholy.</p><p><strong>5. The Green Fields of France – The Fureys</strong></p><p>A reflective song about sacrifice and remembrance, perfect for honoring a life well-lived.</p><p><strong>6. Lakes of Pontchartrain – Paul Brady</strong></p><p>A soulful ballad with themes of journey and longing, often played at wakes or memorial gatherings.</p><h3><strong>Related Reading:</strong><br /><a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/8-irish-songs-that-bring-comfort-after-loss-308">8 Irish Songs That Bring Comfort After Loss</a></h3>

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How to Create a Playlist for an Irish Funeral or Wake – Classics and Modern Choices

<p>When someone you love dies, planning a wake can feel like one more impossible task. Did they want a wake? Should it be an open or closed casket? Will it be at home or in the funeral home?</p><p>It’s worth remembering that you don’t have to have a wake at all. But if you do, it doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to feel personal, comforting, and manageable.</p><p>Here are five common mistakes to gently sidestep.</p><h3>1. Trying to Do It All Yourself</h3><p>You need space to grieve, not to stress about chairs, catering, and whether the kettle’s boiled. Accept help, even if you don’t yet know what you need. Draft in friends, lean on your funeral director, or ask someone to coordinate the house or venue so you can simply be present.</p><h3>2. Misjudging the Space</h3><p>Count likely visitors, even though <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/how-to-estimate-guest-numbers-at-a-funeral-or-wake-208">gauging numbers is one of the hardest things to do</a>. If the crowd is mostly older, make sure there’s enough seating.</p><p>If there’s a casket, it should be placed at an angle, giving guests the option to approach and pay their respects or not, without pressure. Avoid placing it in a way that causes bottlenecks; guests should be able to move easily in and out of the space.</p><h3>3. Under- or Over-Catering</h3><p>Wakes are long, emotional days. Guests will need something, but the family often forgets to eat at all.</p><p>Provide simple food for visitors, but also plan a proper meal for the immediate family that can be heated once the house is quiet. It’s a small gesture that makes a big difference.</p><h3>4. Letting the Atmosphere Go Unshaped</h3><p>The best wakes strike a balance; respectful, but not somber. Choose music you know they’d have loved, not what feels “funeral-ish.” Create warmth with a few candles, photos, or flowers. It doesn’t have to be fussy. It just needs to feel like them.</p><h3>5. Skipping the Practical Bits</h3><p>Bins, loo roll, signage, pets underfoot, coat racks — tiny things, but they’ll catch you out. Walk through the day in your head. What will people need? What will you need?</p><p>A short checklist on the fridge can save a lot of fluster. Also, don’t forget to state a finish time. It doesn’t need to be rigid, but it gives people a sense of structure and gives you permission to start winding down when you need to.</p><p><i>You don’t have to host a flawless event. You just need to create a space where people feel looked after, loved, and close to the person they’re saying goodbye to.</i></p>

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5 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning a Wake

<p>Estimating how many people will attend a funeral or wake is one of the trickiest parts of planning. You might second-guess everything, from how well-known the person was, to how far people will travel, or whether a weekday funeral will impact turnout.</p><p>While you’ll never get an exact number, here are a few key factors to help guide your thinking. These tips will help you plan for food, space, and a smooth flow to the day.</p><h3>1. Age, Life Stage, and Social Connections</h3><p>An older person who’s outlived many friends may draw a smaller crowd than someone younger or recently retired. However, those involved in clubs, sports, or community groups often have multiple social circles—and they add up quickly.</p><h3>2. Size of the Family</h3><p>A large family means a bigger guest list before you even consider friends. In-laws, cousins, adult children’s partners, and their families can quickly increase numbers.</p><h3>3. How Well-Known Were They and How Public Was the Passing?</h3><p>If the deceased or their immediate family are well connected, expect a larger turnout. People often attend to support the bereaved as much as to honour the person who died. A widely shared death notice can also increase attendance.</p><h3>4. Cultural Expectations and Traditions</h3><p>In some families, especially in rural Ireland, a wake is non-negotiable, and entire communities turn up. In others, funerals are more private. When in doubt, ask someone close who understands the wider social expectations.</p><h3>5. Venue, Time, and Location</h3><p>A city-centre service at rush hour might put some people off. A weekday funeral may limit attendance slightly, while a weekend or evening wake makes it easier for others to attend. Location always plays a role.</p><h3>Still Unsure? Round Up</h3><p>It’s far better to have extra chairs and too many sandwiches than guests standing in the hall or nothing left to offer. If space is tight, staggered attendance can work—especially at home.</p><p><span style="font-family:&quot;Aptos&quot;,sans-serif;font-size:12.0pt">You won’t guess it perfectly, no one does, but with some thought and the right support, you can plan with confidence and kindness.</span></p>

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How to Estimate Guest Numbers at a Funeral or Wake

<h3>A Practical Guide from RIP.ie</h3><p>Whether a death is anticipated or unexpected, it is a very difficult time for those close to the deceased. It is also a time when many decisions need to be made, often very soon after the death, which can cause considerable stress.</p><p>This practical guide offers a step-by-step overview of the tasks you may need to manage. Not all points will apply to every situation, but many will. If the deceased left instructions regarding funeral preferences or a list of people to notify, your job will be easier. If not, you may need to consult family members and check address books or contact lists.</p><h3>Immediate Steps</h3><ul><li>Contact the next of kin, especially those abroad.</li><li>If a doctor is not present, contact one to obtain a death certificate.</li><li>In cases of sudden or unusual death, do not move anything until the doctor arrives.</li><li>Inform the doctor immediately if the deceased held an organ donor card.</li><li>Locate burial instructions or last wishes.</li><li>If the death occurs at home, contact the Gardaí.</li><li>Notify close friends, relatives, neighbours, employer and colleagues.</li></ul><h3>Notify Key Contacts</h3><p>In the days following the death, you may need to contact:</p><ul><li>State authorities (e.g. pension or social welfare offices)</li><li>Insurance agencies and financial institutions</li><li>The deceased’s solicitor</li></ul><h3>Funeral Arrangements</h3><ul><li>Contact a funeral director for support.</li><li>Confirm if a burial plot exists and its location.</li><li>Agree on wake details and location.</li><li>Decide if the body will be on view (open or closed coffin).</li><li>Clarify if the house is private or open to mourners.</li><li>Set the date, time and location of services.</li><li>Write the death notice.</li><li>Choose coffin, casket or pod (for burial).</li><li>Decide on ashes scattering or container (for cremation).</li><li>Choose flowers or charitable donations (mention in death notice).</li><li>Plan prayers, readings, music and structure of the service.</li><li>Ask those involved in the service well in advance.</li><li>Arrange refreshments and book a venue.</li></ul><h3>Cancel or Redirect Services</h3><p>You may need to cancel or redirect:</p><ul><li>Standing orders</li><li>Newspaper and journal subscriptions</li><li>Milk or coal deliveries</li><li>Telephone and broadband</li><li>Mobile phone</li><li>Bin collection</li><li>Rent</li><li>TV and radio licence</li><li>Postal services</li></ul><h3>Special Burial Requests</h3><ul><li>For natural or woodland burials, contact organisations like <a href="https://www.greengraveyard.com/">The Green Graveyard Company</a> in Killane, Co. Wexford.</li><li>For religious ceremonies, contact the appropriate religious advisor.</li><li>For non-religious ceremonies, contact the <a href="https://www.greengraveyard.com/">Humanist Association of Ireland.</a></li></ul><h3>Secure the Home</h3><p>Arrange for someone trustworthy to look after the house during the funeral to prevent burglary.</p><h3>Accept Help</h3><p>Keep track of those who offer help and thank them later. Tasks may include:</p><ul><li>Cleaning the house</li><li>Looking after children or elderly relatives</li><li>Watering plants</li><li>Caring for pets</li></ul><h3>Important Documents to Locate</h3><ul><li>Death certificate</li><li>Prepaid funeral plans or burial plot documents</li><li>Will and trusts</li><li>Life insurance policies</li><li>Pension and retirement plans</li><li>Investment accounts</li><li>Credit card and bank statements</li><li>Marriage, birth, divorce certificates</li><li>Business ownership documents</li><li>Title deeds for property or vehicles</li><li>Health insurance</li><li>Tax returns</li><li>Safe deposit keys</li></ul><h3>Inventory of Belongings</h3><p>Make a list of household goods, valuables and personal items for proper distribution.</p><h3>Settling the Estate</h3><ul><li>If there is a will, the executor named will manage the estate.</li><li>If there is no will, the law will appoint a representative—usually a spouse or adult child.</li><li>Contact financial advisors, solicitors or accountants to check for urgent matters.</li></ul>

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A Practical Guide After a Death – Checklist from RIP.ie

Antrim

Armagh

Carlow

Cavan

Clare

Cork

Derry

Donegal

Down

Dublin

Fermanagh

Galway

Kerry

Kildare

Kilkenny

Laois

Leitrim

Limerick

Longford

Louth

Mayo

Meath

Monaghan

Offaly

Roscommon

Sligo

Tipperary

Tyrone

Waterford

Westmeath

Wexford

Wicklow

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Topic: Wake Planning