<p><i>In this deeply personal piece, </i><a href="https://darranbourke.com/"><i>Darran Bourke</i></a><i> — a Tipperary-based funeral singer — reflects on the emotional and spiritual role music plays in helping families navigate grief. Drawing from his own experiences and faith, Darran shares how singing at funerals is far more than a performance; it’s an act of compassion, connection, and care.</i></p><h3>The Practical and the Personal</h3><p>Some people, I feel, look at what I do as being very practical: I turn up, I sing the hymns, I pack up, and I leave. And they’re not entirely wrong. But I would argue there’s also a very spiritual and compassionate side to it. If I only looked at a funeral from a practical standpoint, I wouldn’t be very good at my job. If I can’t put any feeling into what I’m singing, then who in their right mind would hire me?</p><h3>Understanding Grief, One Family at a Time</h3><p>There are a lot of elements to a funeral from a singer’s perspective, a lot of things we need to know, like the <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/funeral-mass-and-service-readings-formats-and-resources-292">funeral mass and the running order</a> of the service, and so on. To put a personal stamp on each funeral, it’s also essential to know something about the person who has passed, to get to know them a little, and to understand their family.</p><h3>No Two Losses Are the Same</h3><p>You see, everybody is different. Everybody’s grief is different, and grief varies in so many ways; it all depends on the circumstances of a loved one’s passing. For example, sudden death, a tragic ending, a long illness, or an elderly person who’s lived a full life, all of these hurt differently. And then each individual suffers differently. If a man dies leaving behind a wife and children, it’s an entirely different loss for his wife than it is for his children. The only thing that unites them all is that, no matter the age or the circumstance of death, the loss is always big.</p><h3>Bringing Empathy to the Conversation</h3><p>And I think everybody should know that. Everyone should know and understand what a person is most likely to be going through in times of loss. Most of us have been there. For me, as a funeral singer who has also experienced many personal losses, both among friends and family, it has definitely helped me become more understanding and empathetic towards the families I meet during their time of loss. Because I’ve experienced my own loss, I have a sense of theirs.</p><p>It’s given me the understanding that I must make the conversation I’m about to have with a family as stress-free and as gentle as I possibly can. I try to give them the basic information, like the format of the mass and where hymns and songs can be placed, and to find out all I can about the person, which might help me suggest hymns and songs to the family.</p><h3>Listening and Responding in the Moment</h3><p>There are often times when a family is happy to just trust my judgement when it comes to choosing the hymns and songs. Because of this, I always listen to the words of the priest and his perspective, and I listen to the <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/how-to-write-a-eulogy-a-guide-to-creating-a-meaningful-tribute-290">eulogy,</a> as it might often lead me to change direction when it comes to choosing hymns or coming up with appropriate song ideas. </p><p>Then, on the day of the funeral, it’s just about being there in the moment, giving everything of myself to that soul and to the <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/poems-and-verses-for-remembering-loved-ones-ripie-291">family who mourn</a>.</p><h3>Faith, Compassion, and the Power of Song</h3><p>I have a deep faith in my Christian beliefs, so for me personally, when it comes to singing at a funeral, I’m singing to praise God and to pray for the soul who lies before Him in song, so that they may enter His Heavenly Kingdom. I’m also singing in prayer to give comfort and strength to the family who mourns.</p><p>I have also sung at a handful of secular funerals—though I don’t get that many—but while the format is different, the empathy and the compassion are the very same. Because again, while I can’t possibly comprehend an individual’s grief, I can understand what they’re going through.</p><h3>A Lasting Gift</h3><p>I think it was Saint Augustine who said, “He who sings, prays twice.”<br />I believe that it’s one of the most important jobs a singer will ever have the honour of doing: singing for a soul and giving a family some level of solace in their time of need. And while there is a practical end to singing for a funeral, the emotional and spiritual end live on in the hearts of those in mourning.</p><figure class="media"><div data-oembed-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDGhl-MKtzY"><div style="position:relative;padding-bottom:100%;height:0;padding-bottom:56.2493%"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KDGhl-MKtzY" style="position:absolute;width:100%;height:100%;top:0;left:0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></div></figure>

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More Than a Voice: The Compassionate Work of a Funeral Singer

<h2>Remember Me by Christie Hennessy</h2><p>Christie Hennessy’s song <i>Remember Me</i> is a gentle and moving tribute to those we hold in our hearts. Written for the opening of a garden of remembrance, this song offers comfort to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.</p><p>We are honoured to share the lyrics with kind permission from Christie Hennessy, who passed away on Tuesday, December 11, 2007.</p><h2>Remember Me</h2><p>Remember me whenever <br />you’re blue <br />Remember me when there’s <br />no one holding you <br />Any time you feel like you <br />can’t make it through<br />Remember me and I will be <br />with you</p><p> </p><p>Remember me whenever <br />you’re afraid <br />And when you lose your <br />dreams along the way<br />Any time you feel like you<br />can’t make it through<br />Remember me and I will be <br />with you</p><p> </p><p>Every night and every day I’ll <br />be by your side<br />Just reach out and take my <br />hand and I will be your guide<br />And any time you feel like you <br />can’t make it through<br />Remember me and I will be <br />with you</p><p> </p><p>Remember me whenever <br />you’re afraid <br />Remember me if there’s <br />someone in my place <br />Any time you feel like you <br />can’t make it through<br />Remember me and I will be <br />with you.</p><figure class="media"><div data-oembed-url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptIWtHSVqGI&amp;t=13s"><div style="position:relative;padding-bottom:100%;height:0;padding-bottom:56.2493%"><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ptIWtHSVqGI?start=13" style="position:absolute;width:100%;height:100%;top:0;left:0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></div></figure>

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Remember Me by Christie Hennessy – A Song of Comfort and Remembrance

<h3>Funeral Mass &amp; Service Readings &amp; Formats</h3><p>A collection of readings and formats—both religious and non-religious—commonly used in funeral services to honour and remember loved ones.</p><p>Please ensure that any readings, quotes or extracts used are properly attributed to their original authors.</p><h3>The Funeral Mass</h3><p>You can access a comprehensive <strong>Funeral Mass Template</strong>, courtesy of Fr. Pat Rogers CP, Mount Argus Church, Dublin. This printable resource includes suggested readings, hymns, and service structure.</p><p><a href="Explore religious and non-religious funeral service formats, including Catholic, Church of Ireland, and Humanist ceremonies. Access templates, readings, and guidance for planning a meaningful farewell.">Click here</a> to view the Funeral Mass Template<br /><i>With thanks to Fr. Pat Rogers CP for his generous contribution.</i></p><h2>Church of Ireland Funeral Service</h2><p>Church of Ireland funerals follow the <strong>Book of Common Prayer (2004)</strong>. The most commonly used format is <strong>Funeral Service 2</strong>, which includes the full service structure and additional options.</p><p><a href="https://img-dedicated.rip.ie/Funeral_Service_CoI_e2dd45694e2df7e6148253f2eaac29ff8bce75b7b2e24da1.pdf">Click here </a>to view Funeral Service 2<br /><i>Source: Church of Ireland website</i></p><p>At a Church of Ireland funeral:</p><ul><li>Attendees usually receive a copy of the prayerbook with the generic service.</li><li>A personalised funeral booklet (optional) may include hymn lyrics and reading details.</li><li>Services typically feature 3–4 hymns, sung by the congregation and choir.</li><li>The service often concludes with the <strong>Nunc Dimittis</strong>.</li></ul><p><i>With thanks to Brigitte Nelson, Co-Editor of the Dundalk Group of Parishes Newsletter, for her insights.</i></p><h2>Humanist Funeral Service</h2><p>Humanist funerals are individually composed in consultation with the family and offer a non-religious alternative focused on personal values and memories.</p><p>Visit<a href="https://www.humanism.ie/"> Humanism.ie</a> for more information</p><ul><li>Celebrants work closely with families to create a meaningful ceremony.</li><li>Contact details for celebrants are available on the Humanist Association of Ireland website.</li><li>All enquiries are handled with sensitivity and care.</li></ul><p><i>With thanks to Brian Whiteside, Director of Ceremonies – Humanist Association of Ireland.</i></p>

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Funeral Mass and Service Readings – Formats and Resources

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Topic: Funeral Music