Returning to Work After Baby Loss: Navigating Grief in the Workplace

Returning to Work After the Loss of Your Baby

Coming back to work after the loss of your baby is one of the most difficult steps you may ever take. It can feel surreal — like the world has kept moving while yours stood still. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and stepping back into a routine that once felt normal can now feel overwhelming, even impossible.

You may find comfort in the structure of work, or you may struggle with the routine and the memories tied to your pregnancy. Both reactions are valid. There’s no “right way” to navigate this.

If it feels right for you, consider asking HR or your manager to send a message to your team before you return, explaining what has happened. This can ease the pressure of answering difficult questions or navigating awkward silences. You might include specific requests — such as asking colleagues not to avoid you or the subject, or alternatively, asking that your baby not be mentioned at all. You can also express that while you appreciate people’s care, you don’t want to be treated differently. Let them know how you’d like to be supported (or not) as you return, and that your boundaries may shift day by day.

This return isn’t about “moving on” — it’s about learning to carry your grief with you and adjusting to a new normal.

Consider a Phased Return to Work

If possible, explore a phased return. Being expected to work a full week straight away can feel overwhelming when you're still navigating deep grief. Starting with shorter hours or fewer days can give you space to breathe and adjust at your own pace.

Taking one day — or even one hour — at a time can make the transition feel more manageable. Speak with your manager or HR about what’s possible. Many workplaces are more flexible than we expect, especially when they understand the emotional weight you’re carrying.

You are not alone. And you don’t have to do this all at once. One hour, one task, one day at a time.

Finding Support After Baby Loss

Connecting with others who have experienced similar loss can be incredibly comforting. Support groups offer a space to feel less alone and more understood.

As bereavement therapist Dr. Peter Hanlon puts it, 

“The best thing to give a bereaved parent is another bereaved parent.” 

Sometimes, just knowing someone truly understands your pain can offer a sense of solace and strength that words alone cannot provide.

Grief Comes in Waves

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Certain moments — a memory, a date, a conversation — can feel like waves crashing all over again. Recognising this, and giving yourself the space and tools to cope, can make those waves a little more bearable.