<h3>The Silent Grief of Fathers</h3><p>When a baby dies, the world often looks to the mother. People ask how she is, how she’s coping, what she needs. And while her grief is immense and deserves every bit of care, it can sometimes leave dads standing quietly in the background—hurting, but unseen.</p><p>If you’re a dad who has lost a baby, please know this: your grief matters too.</p><h3>Your Loss Is Real and Heavy</h3><p>You had all the <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/honouring-your-childs-memory-finding-ways-to-remember-261">hopes and dreams</a>. You imagined what life would be like with your child. That loss is real, and it is heavy.</p><p>Many dads feel pressure to “be strong”—to hold everything together, to take care of their partner, to sort out the practical things no one else can face. But strength doesn’t mean pushing down your pain. You are allowed to grieve in your own way.</p><h3>There’s No Right Way to Grieve</h3><p>Some dads cry. Some need to talk. Others find comfort in keeping busy or channeling their energy into something meaningful. All of this is okay. Whatever way you manage your loss—whatever works for you—is exactly how you are meant to be. There is <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/trusting-the-grief-process-learning-to-honour-your-healing-journey-272">no right or wrong way to process grief</a>.</p><h3>Grieving Differently Doesn’t Mean Grieving Less</h3><p>We often say grief is like a rollercoaster. You may be on the same ride, but you and your partner are in different carriages. This is perfectly okay. It’s important to know that everyone grieves differently. One person may find it difficult to get out of bed, while the other goes to work and carries on as normal. This doesn’t mean they care less or feel the loss any less deeply.</p><h3>Feeling Invisible or Guilty Is Common</h3><p>You might feel invisible at times, or even guilty for the way you’re coping. Maybe people don’t ask how you are. Maybe you <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/building-self-compassion-after-suicide-loss-a-gentle-guide-to-letter-writing-251">don’t know how to put your feelings into words</a>. That doesn’t make your grief any less real.</p><h3>You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone</h3><p>There is no right way to do this. You don’t have to hide, and you don’t have to go through it alone. If you can, talk to someone you trust—a friend, a family member, or another dad who has experienced loss. Sharing even a little of what you’re carrying can lift some of the weight.</p><p>There are <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/supporting-a-family-after-the-loss-of-a-child-259">support groups specifically for dads</a>, and you may feel more comfortable in that space.</p><h3>Honouring Your Baby and Your Healing</h3><p>Most of all, remember this: being a grieving dad doesn’t mean being silent or strong all the time.</p><p>It means loving your baby in the only way you can now—by carrying their memory with you, by allowing yourself to feel, and by <a href="https://rip.ie/grief-and-bereavement-support/navigating-baby-loss-gentle-support-for-the-early-days-of-grief-216">honouring your own healing </a>too.</p><h3>You Are Not Alone</h3><p>Your grief is valid.</p><p>Your baby will always matter.</p>

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When a Baby Dies: Supporting Grieving Dads Through Loss

<h3>Returning to Work After the Loss of Your Baby</h3><p>Coming back to work after the loss of your baby is one of the most difficult steps you may ever take. It can feel surreal — like the world has kept moving while yours stood still. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and stepping back into a routine that once felt normal can now feel overwhelming, even impossible.</p><p>You may find comfort in the structure of work, or you may struggle with the routine and the memories tied to your pregnancy. Both reactions are valid. There’s no “right way” to navigate this.</p><p>If it feels right for you, consider asking HR or your manager to send a message to your team before you return, explaining what has happened. This can ease the pressure of answering difficult questions or navigating awkward silences. You might include specific requests — such as asking colleagues not to avoid you or the subject, or alternatively, asking that your baby not be mentioned at all. You can also express that while you appreciate people’s care, you don’t want to be treated differently. Let them know how you’d like to be supported (or not) as you return, and that your boundaries may shift day by day.</p><p>This return isn’t about “moving on” — it’s about learning to carry your grief with you and adjusting to a new normal.</p><h3>Consider a Phased Return to Work</h3><p>If possible, explore a phased return. Being expected to work a full week straight away can feel overwhelming when you're still navigating deep grief. Starting with shorter hours or fewer days can give you space to breathe and adjust at your own pace.</p><p>Taking one day — or even one hour — at a time can make the transition feel more manageable. Speak with your manager or HR about what’s possible. Many workplaces are more flexible than we expect, especially when they understand the emotional weight you’re carrying.</p><p>You are not alone. And you don’t have to do this all at once. One hour, one task, one day at a time.</p><h3>Finding Support After Baby Loss</h3><p>Connecting with others who have experienced similar loss can be incredibly comforting. Support groups offer a space to feel less alone and more understood.</p><p>As bereavement therapist Dr. Peter Hanlon puts it, </p><blockquote><p><i>“The best thing to give a bereaved parent is another bereaved parent.”</i> </p></blockquote><p>Sometimes, just knowing someone truly understands your pain can offer a sense of solace and strength that words alone cannot provide.</p><h3>Grief Comes in Waves</h3><p>Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Certain moments — a memory, a date, a conversation — can feel like waves crashing all over again. Recognising this, and giving yourself the space and tools to cope, can make those waves a little more bearable.</p>

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Returning to Work After Baby Loss: Navigating Grief in the Workplace

<h3>If You’ve Found Your Way Here</h3><p>It likely means you’ve experienced the loss of your baby—or you’re supporting someone who has. First, we want to say we are so sorry. Grief can feel overwhelming, isolating, confusing, or even numb. However you’re feeling right now is exactly how you should be feeling. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and no single path through it.</p><p>Whether your loss was recent or still feels recent, whether it was expected or sudden, your experience matters. And while nothing can take away the pain, knowing you’re not alone can make a difference.</p><h3>In the Early Days After the Loss of Your Baby</h3><p>We are so sorry you are here under such heartbreaking circumstances. Right now, you may be trying to come to terms with the devastating loss of your baby—and that can feel overwhelming, surreal, and deeply painful. As bereaved parents ourselves, we understand just how profound and disorienting this time can be.</p><p>In the days, weeks, and months ahead, please know this: you are not alone. Support is available, and when you feel ready, we would be honoured to walk alongside you. Whether you need someone to listen, information to help you understand what you’re going through, or connection with others who have lived through similar losses—we are here.</p><p>Many parents have found comfort in meeting others who have experienced the loss of a baby. While everyone’s grief is unique, there is a quiet strength in shared understanding. Hearing how others have coped can offer small moments of hope when everything feels impossible.</p><h3>What You Might Be Feeling</h3><p>Grief affects not just the heart, but the body and mind too. In these early days, it’s common to feel physically and emotionally exhausted. You may notice:</p><ul><li>Difficulty concentrating or remembering things</li><li>A heavy feeling in your chest</li><li>Deep, sighing breaths or shortness of breath</li><li>Palpitations or “butterflies” in your stomach</li><li>Aching arms, loss of appetite, or disrupted sleep</li><li>Bad dreams or nightmares</li></ul><p>If your doctor has ruled out more serious health concerns, please be reassured that these symptoms are a natural part of grief. They may be frightening or confusing, but they are temporary and will ease in time.</p><p>Emotionally, you may move through many different feelings—shock, anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, even moments of numbness or peace. These emotions may come in waves, without warning, and in no particular order. Some days might feel more manageable; others may be incredibly hard. All of this is part of the grieving process, and everything you feel is valid.</p><h3>Gentle Advice from Other Bereaved Parents</h3><ul><li>Talk about your baby. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can help. Avoiding them can make grief feel even more isolating.</li><li>Understand that grief is individual. You and your partner may express your sorrow in very different ways—and that’s okay.</li><li>Take your time. If possible, delay big decisions like changing jobs or moving house until you feel more grounded.</li><li>Write it down. Keeping a journal can be a helpful outlet for your emotions.</li><li>Support your other children. It’s okay for them to see you feeling sad. Reassure them that they are loved, and talk to them openly about their sibling in a way that feels right for your family.</li></ul><p>Above all, be gentle with yourself. There is no “right” way to grieve. You are doing the best you can—and that is enough.</p><h3>When You’re Ready, We’re Here</h3><p>We know this journey is incredibly hard. When you feel ready, we’re here to support you in whatever way you need. Whether it’s through conversation, resources, or connection with others, you are not alone.</p>

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Navigating Baby Loss: Gentle Support for the Early Days of Grief

<p>For many parents, the first day of school, birthdays, or other milestones are filled with excitement and pride. Social media lights up with photos of smiling children in new uniforms and schoolbags, accompanied by captions full of hope for the future.</p><p>But if your baby is not here, these moments can feel like a sharp reminder of what you’re missing. Instead of joy, you may feel your grief rising to the surface again — even years after your loss. If your little one should be starting school, moving up a class, or hitting another milestone, it’s natural to feel the ache more intensely right now.</p><p>You are not alone in this. It’s important to know that it’s okay to feel the loss, no matter how long ago your baby died.</p><h3>Grief Doesn’t Follow a Timetable</h3><p>Grief doesn’t expire when the calendar moves on. Seeing other children reach milestones your child never had the chance to can reopen old wounds. Let yourself feel what you feel — whether it’s sadness, anger, envy, or longing. There’s no “wrong” way to grieve.</p><p>If social media feels overwhelming, it’s okay to step back. Unfollow, mute, or take a break from scrolling. Your wellbeing matters more than keeping up with everyone’s updates. Similarly, if community events feel too painful, give yourself permission to decline invitations or create distance.</p><h3>Creating Your Own Rituals</h3><p>Marking the milestone in your own way can bring comfort. Some parents:</p><ul><li>Light a candle</li><li>Write a letter to their child about the “first day” they never got</li><li>Donate school supplies in their memory</li><li>Visit a special place that reminds them of their baby</li></ul><p>Rituals help transform pain into remembrance and connection.</p><h3>Sharing Your Story</h3><p>Sharing your child’s name and story keeps their memory alive. If you feel able, let a trusted friend or family member know that this time of year is particularly difficult. Sometimes simply saying,</p><blockquote><p><i>“My baby should be starting school this week”</i> </p></blockquote><p>gives weight to the grief and invites compassion.</p><p>Speak to people who understand. Whether it’s a close friend, a partner, or a community of bereaved parents, having people who “get it” can make all the difference. You don’t have to explain or justify yourself to them — they already understand.</p><blockquote><p>Be Gentle With Yourself</p></blockquote><p>Grief is exhausting. You may need extra rest, quiet, or self-care during these milestones. Small acts like taking a walk, writing in a journal, or treating yourself to something comforting can help.</p><p>The ache you feel isn't a weakness — it’s love with nowhere to go. Every milestone is a reminder of the dreams you held for your child. Honouring that love is a way of honouring them.</p><h3>You Are Not Alone</h3><p>If you’re facing the “first day of school that never came,” please know that your grief is valid, your child is remembered, and your pain is seen. It’s okay to step back, to cry, to remember, and to find new ways of carrying your baby with you.</p>

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Grieving the Milestones: Coping with the First Day of School After Baby Loss

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Condolence Books - Printed and Bound

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Topic: Baby Loss